Things to Do in Denver When You're a Fed
Of course, I am not actually in Denver, but some tacky little suburb called 'Lakewood' and then I am actually not 'in' anything, so much as shelved at some out of the way hotel on a dark service road at the end of a business district. The only place to eat/drink within reasonable walking distance is Bennigans or Dennys. My fellow committee members (higher paid DC types who iron their pants and lug their ridiculous technology everywhere on little wheeled conveyances or as the only pocket bulges they'll ever sport) go to Bennigans. Where they drink their one and a half cocktails and chat one another up about Our Work. Shudfuckingder.
That is how I imagine it anyway, standing outside on the sidewalk peeking in at them. They sit earnestly in 2 big groups, chatting perched on too tall bar stools, eating nachos and salads and drinking...it looks like chardonnay. Sob. As if there were no Vodka. Or gin...whiskey. Real drinks. As if that's what separates them from The Beasts. (Besides the double pane glass and an inability to care about DATA).
They will split the check down to slivers of copper and it will take so long that the server will begin to hate them in earnest.
I did not rent a car. Oh, how I parch.
But, thankfully, this is only a 2.5 day meeting. Which is all we need to put together our plan for national De-saster Management. As it pertains to fire. Which should reassure you, good citizen, immensely, if the fact that we spent the day discussing Data Relationahip Entity Diagrams doesn't .
I hate fucking diagrams. Just hammer my skull and shove nails in my ears. When the west is one big wall of flame licking its way east, take comfort in the fact that we have wall charts detailing who gets what information when. Because we can't afford to man our trucks, or contract retardant planes. We have to cut government somewhere.
This is just our FIRST meeting. There will be 2 more. AND a conference call. I'm sure we'll have an acronym in the end that will cutsify your public safety and make it all worth while.
Of course, I am not actually in Denver, but some tacky little suburb called 'Lakewood' and then I am actually not 'in' anything, so much as shelved at some out of the way hotel on a dark service road at the end of a business district. The only place to eat/drink within reasonable walking distance is Bennigans or Dennys. My fellow committee members (higher paid DC types who iron their pants and lug their ridiculous technology everywhere on little wheeled conveyances or as the only pocket bulges they'll ever sport) go to Bennigans. Where they drink their one and a half cocktails and chat one another up about Our Work. Shudfuckingder.
That is how I imagine it anyway, standing outside on the sidewalk peeking in at them. They sit earnestly in 2 big groups, chatting perched on too tall bar stools, eating nachos and salads and drinking...it looks like chardonnay. Sob. As if there were no Vodka. Or gin...whiskey. Real drinks. As if that's what separates them from The Beasts. (Besides the double pane glass and an inability to care about DATA).
They will split the check down to slivers of copper and it will take so long that the server will begin to hate them in earnest.
I did not rent a car. Oh, how I parch.
But, thankfully, this is only a 2.5 day meeting. Which is all we need to put together our plan for national De-saster Management. As it pertains to fire. Which should reassure you, good citizen, immensely, if the fact that we spent the day discussing Data Relationahip Entity Diagrams doesn't .
I hate fucking diagrams. Just hammer my skull and shove nails in my ears. When the west is one big wall of flame licking its way east, take comfort in the fact that we have wall charts detailing who gets what information when. Because we can't afford to man our trucks, or contract retardant planes. We have to cut government somewhere.
This is just our FIRST meeting. There will be 2 more. AND a conference call. I'm sure we'll have an acronym in the end that will cutsify your public safety and make it all worth while.
posted by Yahtzee at 5:44 AM
2 Comments:
You had me at "Of course."
Great piece of blogging. Glad I accidently found your blog. I would love you to visit this site bar & kitchen stools and tell me what you think.
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